From Computer Girl to Tired Techie: My Long Journey and How to Find Joy Again
Have you ever loved something so much as a kid, but now it makes you tired? That’s exactly how I feel about computers and you on my journey from an excited young girl to a tired adult in tech. Maybe we can figure out how to love it again together.
When I Was Young: Falling in Love with Computers
Think back to when you were little. For me, I remember being a small girl, barely tall enough to reach the keyboard, sneaking off to the local internet cafe every day after school. That was me. I would stand there for hours, amazed by the glowing screens, lost in the internet.
My mom would often meet me there. I’d forget to eat or I was so interested in computers. She would get mad and drag me home. But she was also a little proud of how much I loved learning.
In those days, I started to learn how to make simple websites and use design tools. It wasn’t work — it was fun! I loved computers so much that I decided to study software engineering in high school and college. I didn’t care about other jobs. I only wanted to work with computers.
Now: Living the Dream?
Fast forward to today. I’m working in IT, surrounded by the technology I’ve always loved. It should be great, right? But here’s the truth:
“I’m so tired. Not just a little tired, but really, really tired.”
Opening my laptop, which used to be so exciting, now feels like hard work. Looking at code, and the designs I make in Figma (a design tool) just look blurry and bad are days when I sit at my desk and don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I wonder,
“Am I the only one who feels this way?”
Probably not. I think many people chase their dreams to feel confused when they finally get there.
Feeling Lost in the Tech World
Here’s the problem: I know a little bit about many things in IT, but I’m not an expert in anything. I can write some code, but is it good code? I can make designs, but would a real designer like them? This makes me feel lost and unsure.
I often ask myself:
Did I choose the right job? Was that little girl in the internet cafe wrong to love computers so much? These questions bother me a lot, and I bet they bother other people too.
Being Very, Very Tired
Let’s talk about being really, really tired — what people call “Burnout.” It’s not just feeling sleepy. It’s when you feel so tired that it’s hard to do anything. When you feel this way about a job you used to love, it hurts even more. It feels like you’re letting down the younger you who was so excited about this work.
But here’s something important I’m learning: Being this tired doesn’t mean you made a mistake. It doesn’t mean you were wrong to love computers. It just means something needs to change. It doesn’t mean everything is wrong.
Finding Joy in Tech Again
So, what can we do when we feel this way? Here are some ideas I’m trying:
- Remember why you started: Think about what made you love computers in the first place. For me, it was the fun of creating things and solving problems.
- Try new things in tech: Technology has many different areas. Maybe you’ll find something new that you love.
- Take a break: Sometimes, stepping away from computers for a while can help you see things differently.
- Talk to other people: Share how you feel with friends or coworkers. You might find out you’re not alone.
- Learn something new: Try to feel excited like a kid again by learning a new skill or technology.
- Think about your job: Sometimes, it’s not the work itself that’s the problem, but where or how you’re doing it. Maybe a different kind of tech job would be better.
To All the Tech People Out There
If you’re reading this and thinking,
“Yes, this is how know that you’re not alone.”
Many people go from being excited kid to a tired adult, especially in fast-changing jobs like technology. But here’s the good thing about technology: it’s always changing. There’s always something new to learn, a new problem to solve, or a new thing to create. Maybe we don’t need to leave tech. Maybe we just need to find a new way to enjoy it.
I’m making a promise to myself to try to love technology again. Do you want to try too? Let’s remember that excited girl in the internet cafe and try what we do.
